Ask the Experts Interviews, Dr. Frederic Luskin: Exploring the Power of Forgiveness

Dr. Frederic Luskin is one of the leading voices in the study and practice of forgiveness. As the Stanford University Forgiveness Projects director, he has spent decades researching the profound psychological and physiological benefits of letting go of resentment. His work bridges the gap between psychology and spirituality, offering a practical, science-backed approach to emotional healing. In this interview, Dr. Luskin shares his insights on the transformative power of forgiveness, the common challenges people face, and how his research has influenced everything from personal relationships to workplace dynamics.

Question: What inspired your focus on forgiveness as a key area of psychological research and teaching?

Answer: The biggest spur was a betrayal that I could not get over, which negatively impacted my life for a couple of years. It was only when, in desperation, I opened myself to forgiveness that I was able to reconnect with life. Knowing that I, a therapist, could be so deeply affected by mistreatment, I decided to research a training method based on what helped me for my dissertation to see if it could help others. Another motivation was to create a training that integrated both psychology and spirituality. I hoped to contribute to the growing field that uses science to validate spiritual concepts.

Question: Can you explain the nine steps to forgiveness and how they help people overcome resentment?

Answer: The nine steps guide individuals through understanding what forgiveness is and what it is not, leading to specific practices that help resolve grievances. These steps emphasize the present nature of forgiveness, the benefits for the forgiver, and the understanding that forgiveness is fundamentally a change in one’s personal narrative. The steps serve as a path that transforms one’s story from that of a victim to a hero, reshaping how we relate to our suffering.

Question: What are the most common challenges people face when learning to forgive, and how do you help them overcome these?

Answer: Challenges include a lack of understanding of what forgiveness truly is, the human tendency to blame others for suffering, cultural influences that promote revenge over forgiveness, and limited awareness of the mental and physical health benefits of forgiveness. Overcoming these obstacles requires education, self-awareness, and structured practices that help individuals shift their perspectives.

Question: How does forgiveness intersect with concepts like mindfulness and emotional intelligence in your teachings?

Answer: Forgiveness is about making peace with parts of our lives where we did not get what we wanted. It is a form of resilience, which is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is a non-judgmental, present-centered awareness of our feelings and experiences. Practicing mindfulness enhances our ability to choose skillful responses, which is essential in cultivating forgiveness.

Question: What role does forgiveness play in psychological safety and creating healthier workplaces?

Answer: Generally, the more forgiving we are, the safer we feel internally. Forgiveness fosters confidence in our ability to handle difficult experiences and trust that healing will come over time. It also reduces hostility, making us less likely to take unnecessary offense. In the workplace, a culture of forgiveness can lead to increased productivity by minimizing conflicts, drama, negative alliances, and gossip, allowing employees to focus their energy on meaningful work.

Question: Can you share an example from the Stanford Forgiveness Projects that demonstrates the transformative power of forgiveness?

Answer: We invited about 18 people from Northern Ireland to Stanford for a week of forgiveness training. These individuals had lost immediate family members to violence, and the group included both Catholics and Protestants. By the end of the week, participants showed reduced anger and depression and expressed greater hope. Some of their stories were chilling, including the murder of their children, which had left a lasting impact on both the families and individuals. The most gratifying aspect was witnessing families release some of their emotional burdens together.

Question: How has the global audience in your GSB Executive Education program responded to the concept of forgiveness?

Answer: Almost everyone has experienced hurt in some form. The most common sources of pain stem from current or past intimate relationships, followed by family of origin and workplace conflicts. My work focuses on everyday grievances rather than dramatic, rare events, offering a secular and research-based approach. Most participants respond positively to gaining a deeper understanding of forgiveness and learning simple, practical steps they can apply for self-help.

Question: What advice do you have for someone struggling to forgive themselves?

Answer: It is easier than you think. True self-forgiveness requires genuine remorse for one’s actions, acknowledging the wrongdoing, and taking responsibility for the consequences. It also involves apologizing when necessary, making amends if possible, and committing to not repeating the harmful behavior. Once this is done, you can let yourself off the hook, even if others are still upset. You can truthfully say, “I fully and completely forgive myself.”

Question: How has forgiveness research evolved over your 30-year career, and what changes have you observed in society’s understanding of it?

Answer: The biggest advancement has been the growing ability to measure the physical effects of both forgiveness and unforgiveness. There is now some understanding of the neurobiology behind forgiveness and an increased awareness of the physical consequences of holding onto or letting go of grievances. Society has also become more accepting of forgiveness as a secular practice and more open to research on the mind-body connection.

Question: What do you see as the future of forgiveness in psychological research and its application to real-world challenges?

Answer: There has been little financial investment in forgiveness research, which has limited its growth. However, as more research demonstrates the physical and mental health benefits of forgiveness, interest continues to increase. Around the world, there are projects exploring how forgiveness can help people heal from tragedy and trauma, but they are generally small in scope. The future of forgiveness research lies in expanding these efforts and integrating forgiveness-based practices into mainstream psychological and medical interventions.

About Dr. Frederic Luskin:

Dr. Frederic Luskin is the founder and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects and a pioneering expert in the science of forgiveness. As the author of the bestselling books “Forgive for Good” and “Forgive for Love,” his groundbreaking research highlighted forgiveness’s consequential mental and physical health benefits. Dr. Luskin has helped individuals and organizations worldwide cultivate resilience, improve well-being, and foster healthier relationships through his work.